after thoughts...

I was writing up something called Reasons She Hurts when my girl Angie (angielala1986.blogspot.com) tweeted about her new blog post; Falling in love.. with myself. It's true you can't judge a book by it's cover. I never thought about her having problems or anything. she was just Ang. If you have a problem or you need someone to talk to call her. she always has what you need to hear.
If you know me you know I have a lot of problems that I still am trying to get over or resolve. My history is crazy. Reading her post made me realize damn she and I have a lot in common as far as insecurities and dumb ass exes. (a whole other mess) I've had to deal with not being wanted by parents. Moving a lot. Verbal and Physical abuse from my son's father. Just no real positive or motivational people around me. One person I could always count on no matter what was my brother. Back in 2004 a few days before i graduated high school. He was sentenced to 5-10 years in prison. Self Defense, but I guess the judge just wanted to set an example out of him because of where we lived. Life took a crazy turn for me after that. Depressed and crying all the time about everything. Mainly because I didn't have anyone in my corner anymore. I had my 3 closest friends but still they weren't my brother. My boyfriend at the time he was there but at the same time he wasn't. the streets and other girls kept him busy. Him and my father.. mainly my father are the reasons why I never really trusted men. I have trust issues with both sexes but I'm working on that.
2005 was difficult for me. I really do believe that Trey Songz helped me through a lot of my problems. Yes through his music. I still can't explain it myself for real. It was just something about him. 4 years later him and his music is still here and even stronger in my life.
Over the past few years I've met some people (a lot from TSMB yes Trey Songz Message Board) that are actually doing things with their lives. Positive things. Seeing them do what they're doing makes me push on. I'm back in school. I'm not in this just for me anymore. I have other people now that are supporting me. Crazy how none of my BLOOD family told me anything about them being proud or anything like that. My twitter family and TSMB family are here for me though. The first person to say anything was JustDayDreams. (not going to put some govt's out lol) That made me feel good like dang she doesn't even know me for real, but yet shes taking time to say shes proud of me. I'm working hard towards my graduation. hahaha.
Trying to let everything in my past go, but thats easier said than done. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right?? I should be Super Woman or someone right now.
I wrote this mainly to say I'm working on me now. Trying to get over a lot of things. Love me for me. Do what I need to do. Not settle in life for simple things.
All of this was on mind after reading Angie's blog. Pointless? Whatever my thoughts, my blog, my way.